24、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
上帝瞅着咱们呢，大伙好歹喜感点吧！
25、Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the
same night.
无论，在任何情况下，永远，不要在一个夜晚，同时吃，安眠药，和通便灵。
26、I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
我拼死拼活奋斗到食物链顶端，不是为了成为一个素食者。
27、A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops
. On my desk, I have a work station..
公车站呀公车停。火车站呀火车停。俺桌上有个工作站…
28、If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
要是我听你的，咱俩就都2B了。
29、 Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captiv
ity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw the
m fish?
海豚可聪明了你知道不？只要驯养几个星期，它们就能让人类乖乖站在池边给它们扔鱼吃
了。
30、A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxin
g.
a. 下棋，我不行；玩跆拳道，电脑不行！
b. 下象棋电脑把我玩得团团转，拳击我能把机箱踹得七零八散！
31、I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implan
ts?"
瞅见个姐姐，胸前衣服上写着“Guess”...俺就问了一句：“...隆过？”
32、 Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk
and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-
up.
孩子就是：你先花2年，教丫们走路和说话。然后你再花16年教丫们坐定和闭嘴。
33、Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, bu
t check when you say the paint is wet?
为什么当你说天上有400亿星星时他不怀疑，却偏要检查你所说的“油漆未干”？
34、Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove al
l doubt.
a. 宁愿闭嘴当傻瓜，也别学乌鸦乱呱呱。
b. 越解释越SB，不说话最NB。
c. 剽悍的人生不需要解释
d. 宁可闭口被人当SB，也不张口解释所有疑。
35、A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don'
t need it.
银行就是当你证明了你不需要钱的时候可以借钱给你的地方
36、Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
a.对你的问题哈哈大笑吧，别人都在这么做。
b. 你有什么不开心的？说出来给大家开心开心。
37、The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
a. 我知道没人在我脑子里跟我聊天，但那些话真TM有用！
意译：我幻想的低吟不一定是真的，但足够让我意淫
38、A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
a. 无愧于心哈？记性不好吧？
意译
b： 自从那次在人妖身边醒来，每次去夜店我都提醒自己“一定要戴眼镜……”
c. 意识清醒了，意味着不堪回首了。
39、Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
a. 所谓的好姑娘，咳！就是还没被群众抓到的JP女·····
b. 想立牌坊就得会装
40、He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
临危忽然微笑的那谁，定是找到替罪羊鸟~
41、 Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with
a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
如果女人能做到以秃顶和啤酒肚在大街上晃还觉得自己倍儿性感——此时估计男女能平等
。
42、The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
小腿上的骨头——在黑房间里找准家具位置的好装备。
43、The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad gi
rls live.
圣诞老人当然美，他知道所有YD妞住哪儿啊！
44、To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is resear
ch.
剽窃一个人的叫剽窃，剽窃许多人的叫研究。
意译：窃钩者诛，窃国者为诸侯。
45、Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
有些人一来大家就开心了；有些人一走大家就开心了。.
46、 I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a
great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
我发现，我滴脚丫被一小片儿海藻擦过时，我滴那个惨叫声——和我被大白鲨吓坏时的惨叫声是一样滴。
47、Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
直译：你若是挤满人的电梯里的小矮人，肯定能嗅出不同的味儿。
意译：灵感来自于所站的角度与众不同。
48、I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
我可没怨你！我是在谴责你！
49、 Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergenc
y, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
当我填表的时候，有一项是“紧急情况联系：” 我填上了“医生”，到时候我妈能帮上什么忙？！
50、God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
上帝一定倍儿爱SB，不然他造这么多！！！！！！！
51、Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful
man is usually another woman.
每一个成功的男人背后都有一个女人。每一个翻了船的成功男人背后往往是另一个女人。
52、I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and
a shot of tequila.
58、A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
所谓砍价，就是这东西虽然你不需要，但价格太好必须要买下来！
59、Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
绝对不要和长得丑的争执，他们已经没什么可输的了。
61、My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He
said okay, you're ugly too.
心理医师：你神经病！！！ 我：能说点别的吗？
心理医师：好！！而且你真TM丑！！！
62、 A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get marri
ed?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
一单纯傻儿子问他爹：“爸，结婚到底要花多少钱啊？”他爸说：“儿啊，我真不知道.
..没看见我还在交钱吗？”
63、 Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't
beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you
will have the element of surprise.
有人说“打不过，就合作”。我说“打不过，也要打”。因为丫们指望你加入，得来点惊喜~！
64、When in doubt, mumble.
脑子不好使的话，你就嘟囔。不明白的话，哼哼试试。
65、I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
我已决定长生不老，目前为止，感觉良好。
66、Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were
好客就是：让客人觉得他们像在他们家一样，尽管你真的希望他们滚回他们家。
67、If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
跳伞是这样一种运动：不成功则成仁！
68、A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
电视侮辱你的智商，电脑则是吐你槽的终极存在！
69、Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
知识就是力量，力量会邪恶化。那么就好好学习当大魔王吧！
70、Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
钱买不来幸福，但有了它，痛苦的日子会好熬一点。
71、Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
跟悲观主义者借钱吧！他反正不指望你还！！！
72、Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
担忧真的好使！！我担心的事儿90%都没发生！！
73、Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.
贞操如泡影，一戳无踪影。
74、Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
这年头，连怀旧都不如从前够味儿了。
75、With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
只要主义真，猪也成超人。
信春哥 ，得永生
76、I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
我早就该知道我跟我EX没戏！归根结底，我是天枰她是JP！
77、Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."
豪马克卡上的话：没有你我痛苦万分，正如你就在此处。（没有女人冷冷清清，有了女人鸡犬不宁）
78、You're never too old to learn something stupid.
越活越2~ /活到老,2到老
79、A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
直译：外交家们说让你下地狱的时候，措辞也好像你正巴不得来这么趟旅行。
80、 I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
86、Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
上帝蜀黍疼你，只是大家都觉得你2B而已
87、I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
a. 过去我左右为难。现在我优柔寡断。
b. 我曾是个怀疑论者，现在我很怀疑这一点。
c. 过去我难以决断，现在我不大确信是否还是如此。
88、I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
我打死都不信流血5天还不挂的物种。/我打死都不信娘们儿。
89、If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on
your pants.
直译：如果你始终脚踏实地，那就别想穿裤子了。
意译：人太老实没法活。
90、To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit th
e target.
别人是指哪儿打哪儿，我是打哪儿指哪儿。
91、 You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and
there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
No.1
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发表于 2009-12-8 14:40
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发表于 2009-12-8 14:53
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No.68
发表于 2009-12-8 16:37
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